Lessons from Life – Conformism or Freedom ?

 

We hosted a family for lunch. They invited themselves over and we didn’t mind. As they stepped in, the wife was surprised at seeing our spartan kitchen and equally plain home. She went into our  kitchen the second time for a closer look and hurriedly returned to share her findings with her husband. “All their cutlery and utensils even the glass to drink, is made of wood or stone or mud. The pan is made of iron, there is no other material. The spices are stored in glass jars or bottles. All the cutlery fits neatly in a four by four feet rack and the spices in a one by three feet shelf. Provisions and groceries are purchased only when needed! There is no electronic equipment but for a laptop, and a mixer.” All this, reported in single breath and then she sat down.

We looked at her and were somewhat amused. Meanwhile, her older, wiser husband looked at her fondly and said ‘My dear, that is all they need’

Lunch was a simple affair, we cooked and served them immediately. It was a 3 course meal and we joined in with them while they had their desserts. We had a just a small portion and we were already feeling full.

Their infant child played with her food and spread it all over the floor. The wife was worried about the damage and housekeeping needs but she eased off on the child when we didn’t show any displeasure but rather told them to let the child explore the different textures of food the way she wanted to.

As we cleared the left over food, the wife cleaned the kid and the floor and we all resumed our conversation. She once again asked me, still in a disbelieving kind of tone, as to how we ran a household with so few things ? No Fridge,  T.V , washing machine, dish-washer, vacuum cleaner, almost no furniture,   no beds? How can you live like this ?  Few clothes in a tiny closet and just two pairs of footwear each?

Well, its not an infrequent question thrown at us. And these days we have a stock reply. 

” its our way of life and we love it!”

Later as they were leaving, we heard her insisted that her husband drive by a specific store as she needed to pick up a few toys for the child (the child had recently celebrated its first birthday and there were unopened gifts still at home) and for herself some garments!  The husband said the child had too many toys and she had two wardrobes full of clothes and that she better look at us as potential role models and throw all their unwanted stuff out!!!

At this she commented we were very un-conventional couple and that ours cannot be a mainstream example.

She then asked us, what would we cook for dinner? We replied that we possibly won’t be needing any as we had eaten enough!  With that all knowing look she then told her husband, “Now can you be like them and not eat tonight?  I told you they are not like us or the others”.

For both of us, healing was a gift we discovered earlier on in life. The universe began sending different teachers, books, masters and many many healing techniques. We gladly invested ourselves into learning all these techniques and began using quicker healing protocols. Healing became fast and especially our distant healing protocols had amazing results.

With the opportunity to heal people, life changed significantly. We listened to their stories and experiences, we re-looked at our lives to make sure that we didn’t repeat any of the mistakes made by them. As we experienced the healing gift, our perspectives changed. The unwanted and unnecessary baggages dropped off. We took charge of our lives.

we became spontaneous!

We stopped subscribing to all of the conditionings and programmings. Religion stopped dictating the rules of engagement with god, instead we communicated to Nature directly. Life became simple. Friends dropped off as we stopped inculcating a lot of the social manners ans etiquettes, we dressed as we pleased, went where we wanted when we wanted, ate what we wanted only when we were hungry. We worked and holidayed when we felt like, not as prescribed by the social norms. Soon we became fringe. Yet we became light both literally (reducing the physical baggage, unwanted friends, biological bindings, social chords) and spiritually (followed and listened to our heart).

We were not a conventional family, where Love is often equated to CARE GIVING (a hired professional also provides care whether it is a nurse doing patient care or a mechanic doing car care). Love in such families seems to be the following

  1. Playing a life long role of a provider (usually the man of the house). The provider seemingly is solely responsible for the security, comfort, basic needs, house, money flow, jewellery, luxury goods, holidaying, sponsoring education, entertainment and so on for all the house members.
  2. Then is a sacrificer, home maker, child bearer and rearer, cook, cleaner etc if a woman and
  3. The child has to conform till it slips into one of the two categories of a mans or womans role.
  4. A house husband in some cultures is made fun off as being feminine and not macho. Likewise, a woman who wears pants and runs the home is disapproved and frowned upon.

Are we a rebellious couple ? We think not, for we are only making our own rules. We force no one to follow us.

Rebels will fight back and say we need not be told as to how to live. They are against the previous system as they have a new adopted set of beliefs. The new set has a leader and we will do as the leader of the group says. Rebels do not like to be alone, they subscribe to a pack or copy a role model. They are easily swayed. Their heads dictate how to dress, walk, talk, what to wear, what to eat, whom to be with, what to study, whom to share things with, whom to pray to.

Sometimes we will find a self labeled keeper of the society, who will single us out and TELL us that

  • We should Stop being a rebel and be A GOOD family (ie Conform).
  • Please Keep your best social face “ON” all the time and do not take it off even in your sleep. Keep the social war paints, do not reveal the simple face below for it is “so plain” it will scare the society away. You will become fringe, an outcast and no more will you be a part of the herd. AND thats not safe….Get it ?
  • Be respectable, earn your bread and share ONLY with the biological family.
  • Blood ties matter the most over everything.
  • Sacrifice yourself for the larger good…for the family, then society, then your nation!
  • You will not think for yourself (In other words – We will tell you what to think…If you know how to think, you become dangerous….as you will not conform….those who do not conform cannot be controlled…YOU WILL BE FREE.)
  • Argument – What will happen to you as you get old? Who will care for you? Take a respectable / decent 9-5 job ; Do all this healing work that you are embarking on in your spare time. The medical establishment while not the best, it knows what its doing. Its for YOUR GOOD that I say this.

Initially, during such times, It took us a lot of work not to get swayed. With some time and with better soul clarity, the heart gets the mind to listen to it, the social influence fades away…pretty quickly.

  1. The dramas are not captivating anymore.
  2. The shallowness and falsity of the whole social setup is seen. We walk our paths and only follow our own hearts.
  3. We pursue our highest sense / feel of what is right. We see signs and are helped by the universe in many amazing ways.
  4. We awake everyday to a new learning or a confirmation of an old ideal we had previously discarded.
  5. We have amazing non-human soul friends (animals) who enrich our journey.
  6. Our healing experiences give us immense energy even when we think about it. Its a legacy and an imprint in existence that will last forever.

Lesson Learnt: There is nothing outside, all is within ; the Saviour, the paradise, enlightenment, all one has to do is become Awake. Then you set the goal for your life, be accountable for all actions words and thoughts. Just open your heart and see! Be bold to ask questions, do not be dictated to… feel your way through life. Listen to your inner voice. Be childlike, let the inner child take charge. Do what you enjoy doing the most and make it your profession. Trust in the universal wisdom. Be Light; materially and spiritually. Allow Love to take charge not the intellect.

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