Lessons from Life : Parenting-1

 

A cat had littered on a ledge twelve feet off the ground, accessible only by a rickety flight of stairs. While observing the dynamics between the 4 kittens, it was interesting to see that they had a love-hate or should I say mew-bite-scratch relationship between each other, yet all the four as I still see them six months later are successful thriving teenage cats.

When cold, they huddled together in such a way thatcats 1.jpg we could never distinguish as to which paw or tail belonged to whom in the pile of fur. When warm, each slept spread-eagle on different spots on the ledge, at times they were seen warming themselves in the morning sun, licking each other, sometimes there were rough and tumble games and there were times when one fell off. The most amazing thing observed was, the mother just appeared out of thin air while the kittens mewed to each other constantly and then the kitten gets promptly picked up by the scruff of the neck and restored back. This happened fairly frequently. If the mother was late in coming, the kitten waited below while the others mewed from the top almost reassuring it, till it was put back. Yet this love disappeared when food came in to the picture, then they fought tooth and nail, snarling, growing and biting to hold on to their own morsel of food.

She was affectionate, licking them clean or playing with them, even allowing them to pretend that her tail was a rat and to attack it! They jumped and tumbled all over her and she wouldn’t even move a muscle! The mother cat also reprimanded her kittens, there were ample snarls, hits with the paw, nips on the ear or nearest available body part. There were times when she got up and moved away from them, when they got rough with their games biting and troubling her. If she wanted a ‘ cat nap ‘ after a tiring hunt, she slept below the ledge oblivious to their piteous mews from above.

The mother then moved them to a better training ground, the courtyard…. Here they learnt stealth, running, crouching, hunting, climb trees, recognizing dogs and humans and running away. She was a defiant mother who would not shy away from snarling at a human who showed an interest in the kittens. One short mew and the next instant the kittens were gone.

Soon it was seen the kittens were on their own most of the time. The small rats, birds and scraps that she got for them, dwindled. The kittens separated to fend for themselves. In six months time, they had their own territory all four are still alive, and the mother cat?

Well…. She has got pregnant again.

We have seen that cat mother was a strict disciplinarian, yet, none of the kittens grew up to become juvenile delinquents, no one took up arms and shot the other, there was no complaints of ADHD, dyslexia, they didn’t turn out to become depressed melancholic individuals, terrorists, drug abusers, porn addicts, child molesters, religious fanatics or killers thirsty for blood.

Then, Why such diverse complex behavior in humans ? The self -appointed rulers, of the planet !

Again, observations in the bird kingdom reveal, birds 1.jpgone or both parents quickly shove down the ever open beaks of the cheeping feather balls, all sorts of grubs, worms, veggies, fruits, nuts, left over foods ( if a city bird) etc. The chicks grow up to become healthy individuals and fly off to set up their own nesting colonies.

Now try the same trick, with a human infant!!!! Feeding them is a herculean task. The infant has to be distracted with a story or shown a busy traffic square or the T.V or a mobile belts out jingles distracting the infant from the feeding ritual. The food is thrust into the reluctant mouth while threats and cajoles are going on like a chant. If the food doesn’t agree with the tummy, then results one or a combination of the following ; colds, blocked nose, wheezing, vomiting, loose motions, fever and non stop wailing.

I am yet to see a creature on earth other than a human have a C- Section. Or hear of an animal mother shout and wail to give birth. It’s a quiet affair in the animal kingdom, a sacred ceremony in nature. No newly born is placed in an incubator. As soon as the baby is born, it starts moving, walking, swimming and what not. Yes if it’s a still -born or the young dies shortly, the mother grieves for a brief period and then moves on. There is no psychological effect on the animal mother.

There are numerous videos of zebra mothers braving crocodiles or cheetahs to get to their young who may have got separated from them. Same with antelopes, gnus, deer, goats, cattle who fend off lions, wolves and other carnivores who try to prey on the kids.

 

I have been attacked on different occasions by crows, sparrows, hens and geese mom when I attempted to get close to their chicks. The animal kingdom has strong ties to their own and this I admire.

In contrast, lets look at our neighbour’s home,  where a new human has birthed. We witnessed a confused, complex and dynamic social relationship. We usually see varied emotions, drama, threats, frustrations, tantrums……… a pretty endless list of control games. The child stays dependent on the20161228-154000_p0.jpg parent much after it’s become a teenager and in some cases even on adulthood a controlling parent will still operate on its behalf, taking all the decisions. The social conditioning by default trains it to become a production machine, keeping it away from its true human self. The constant stream of information fed to it by the family, society, media, pharma, school, religion and self styled  Gurus, takes it away from its original being. It becomes disconnected from Nature. Materialism replaces simplicity. It’s brainwashed to act within a closed framework, where its primary duty is to earn for its biological family, care for them, provide for their comforts and material needs, then die. At no time is it taught / asked to explore its own life and to thrive on its own.

LESSONs witnessed : Babies are born with their own soul intelligence. Most of them may retain their innate ability to communicate with the invisible aspects of Life if they are allowed to keep the purity of their souls. We then pollute them with our fears and false belief systems and they lose their natural gifts. So, let us share with them the awe and magic, and not the teachings and the preachings.

Lets share only those things that have worked for us as a feeling instead of structuring children with dogmas and inflexible rules and regulations. Let them fall and learn for they are all strong beings. Lets help cultivate in them, an awareness, that allows them to wonder and marvel at nature’s gifts. Lets inculcate in them the faith, that our world is a beautiful and abundant place to live in. We enjoy and allow them to create their own miracles daily.

The human mother has to be strongly bonded and sensitive to feel the needs of the infant and assist the child in fulfilling it. This is possible, only when she is strongly connected to herself and with Nature. The child develops its own skills by trial and error  with a gentle push now and then from the family whenever required.

Be there for the infant only when he / she requires you to. At other times, let nature take charge. Let them learn that security is self generated and that the universe will be there with them always. That there is no need to seek your inner security from other humans. The universe will send assistance at the required time, if and only if we are able to read the signs.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, we need to let the infant grow and learn to recognize and bond with their soul families. Often, biological family members may not be your soul family. For instance a very dear pet animal will qualify as soul relationship and not as a biological family.

Set Your Child free and marvel at their flight! In this way your soul will also stay free. Healing happens to all of society, one soul at a time.

 

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